Alone

From childhood’s hour I have not been 
As others were—I have not seen 

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As others saw—I could not bring 
My passions from a common spring— 

 

From the same source I have not taken 
My sorrow—I could not awaken 
My heart to joy at the same tone— 
And all I lov’d—I lov’d alone— 
This is an excerpt from a poem by Edgar Allan Poe-called “Alone”. I found the poem when I was looking for inspiration for a show where the works were to be Poe inspired. I cheated a bit, because I didn’t title it “Alone” and tie it to the poem until after I painted it. When I read it, however, I knew I had found the meaning of my painting.
I have always felt oddly different. I felt separated from other people. I thought I saw and felt things no one else could or would. I had a hard time relating to people. A few years ago, during a therapy session, it dawned on me: I think I have Asperger’s Syndrome! Years ago, a doctor who I wasn’t even there to see for myself told me I had Asperger’s. Now, many years later, I believe him! I’m not diagnosed, and if I am autistic it’s very mild, but oh how this explains many things about struggle in my life! By the way, the painting is from a photo I took in Lafayette Michigan.

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