From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were—I have not seen
As others saw—I could not bring
My passions from a common spring—
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow—I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone—
And all I lov’d—I lov’d alone—
This is an excerpt from a poem by Edgar Allan Poe-called “Alone”. I found the poem when I was looking for inspiration for a show where the works were to be Poe inspired. I cheated a bit, because I didn’t title it “Alone” and tie it to the poem until after I painted it. When I read it, however, I knew I had found the meaning of my painting.
I have always felt oddly different. I felt separated from other people. I thought I saw and felt things no one else could or would. I had a hard time relating to people. A few years ago, during a therapy session, it dawned on me: I think I have Asperger’s Syndrome! Years ago, a doctor who I wasn’t even there to see for myself told me I had Asperger’s. Now, many years later, I believe him! I’m not diagnosed, and if I am autistic it’s very mild, but oh how this explains many things about struggle in my life! By the way, the painting is from a photo I took in Lafayette Michigan.